191356

Joke of the Day

"A blonde tried to blow up her husband's car but burned her lips on the tailpipe."

"Christmas song for people with synesthesia: do you see what I heeeaarrr"

"A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic. He walks up to the drivers window and asks ""You drinkin'?"" The driver said ""You buyin'?"""

"You love him. Your parents approve him. He buys you flowers and chocolate. He wrote you a poem that rhymes ""wood"" with ""food."""

"JOKE OF THE YEAR: Two women were sitting quietly together, minding their own business."

"What do people with memory loss and posters on r/jokes have in common? They both say the same jokes over and over again."

"Why is oral sex with your wife like being interviewed by the police? One slip of the tongue and your in the shit."

"Do you think George Clooney has an iTunes playlist called Clooney Tunes?"

"What's Beethoven's favorite favorite Japanese weapon? Ka-ta-na-na!"

"I asked my wife.. ""what would you do if I won the lottery?"" She replied, "" I would take half and leave you."" I said, ""good I won $12. Here's $6, now fuck off."""