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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: So why did you leave your last job? Me: Someone found out my birthday and decorated my cubicle with balloons."

"Venus and Serena are famous for being Tennis-y Williams"

"God I'm glad chicken breasts don't have nipples."

"Lock myself in the bathroom for an hour and a half to get ready. Come out looking exactly the same, but my phone's at 9% and I have to pee."

"What did the nihilist say to the physicist? Nevermind, it doesn't really matter."

"Man who stand on toilet... High on pot!"

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a six offender"

"News flash: Vandals destroy street signs They pulled out all the stops"

"[1620] We Indians will bury the hatchet and teach you to farm. *Pilgrims huddle* It's a ruse, this soil looks awful for growing hatchets."

"What do you call a blind dinosaur? A Doyouthinkhesawus"