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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: So why did you leave your last job? Me: Someone found out my birthday and decorated my cubicle with balloons."

"I'm all for saving the planet, but recycling jokes doesn't help..."

"The ""cool"" side of your pillow secretly has a lot of the same insecurities that you do."

"Your calculator will be there for you tomorrow... You can count on it."

"Why should you never date an atom? The split is gonna be explosive"

"I wish I had never wished for that. ""Done. You're back to 2 wishes."""

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? ...right where you put it."

"*burglar breaks in* *i reach into my nightstand drawer, get my phone, & take his picture* Burglar: No I have a double chin! Me: I'll post it"

"I was addicted to porn... ...but then I beat it."

"I taught my parents something today... They learned from their mistake."