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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between black people and cancer? The cancer evolves."

"I used to piss my pants in front of my 3rd grade class.... And it cost me my entire teaching career.."

"You know what's a job I could really see myself doing? Mirror inspector."

"A relationship where you can act like complete idiots together is the sweetest thing ever."

"I Have Decided To Publish My Sex Journal in two volumes. Volume A: Thinking About It Volume B: Talking About It"

"Did you hear about that kid called Agree who kept getting bullied? Everybody agreed to *dis*agree."

"The secret of getting ahead is... not having a rib."

"There's no 5 second rule at my house. The dog is much quicker than that."

"You did not have a valentine on valentines day? Some people don't have a mother on mother's day or a father on father's day so shut up"

"A police officer bought a robot this robot was fueled by sodium and alkaline, but could only hold enough for 24 hours at a time. so every morning he had to charge it with a salt and battery."