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Joke of the Day

"""Momma momma, why do I keep running around in circles?"" ""Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor."""

"What is black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & blue? A nun falling down the stairs"

"What State do you go to to ask questions? Al-ask-ya"

"4-year-old: What happens when you die? Me: You go to heaven. 4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff?"

"Had a fight with a one dimensional entity yesterday... The outcome was pretty one sided."

"No, LinkedIn. I would not like to link my Twitter account but thank you for trying to get me unemployed for life."

"The font for alphabet soup Is times new ramen."

"""Mommy, Mommy - I hate walking around in circles!"" ""Shut up or I'll nail your other foot to the floor..."""

"I just found a human tooth and a pair of underwear in my purse. I might be a serial killer or I might be a mom, you'll never know."

"What do you call a fish that makes you an offer you can't refuse? The Codfather. (_)"