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Joke of the Day

"Nothing beats a good math joke My penis is like an asymptote. It goes on forever but nothing ever touches it."

"If laughing is good for you because you use 15 muscles, think how healthy you'll be if you're breaking a chair on someone's head every day."

"Whats the difference between your wife and your job? After 10 years the job still sucks."

"Today I found Jesus in my life. Let me tell you about him. He is tan with a thick black mustache, and eyes so brown they make your soul melt. He is my gardner, the best I have ever employed."

"""Make it two if you count my great personality - three if we include my charm! Hahahahaha oh um yes it's a table for one."""

"How do you call a black man in space? Nasa first called it Albert"

"Why did the English teacher hire a midget geography nut as his lawyer? He wanted someone who understood *capitals* and *lower* case."

"Personal Trainer: Show me the hardest thing that you do each day. Me: *Goes out front door of gym, comes back in*"

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? Megasaurass"

"If I was a fashion designer Id call myself ""who"" so when celebs are asked who are they wearing they can say ""Who?"" ""Yes who?"" ""Yes."""