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Joke of the Day

"The worst part about a prostate exam... is getting an erection in the middle of the exam and then them finding out you're not even a doctor."

"It makes me sad when people tell me they married their best friend, mostly because marriage between a woman and Vodka will never be legal."

"""I'm sorry"" and ""My bad"" mean the same thing Unless you're at a funeral"

"What did the scientist say to his hot assistant? ""There's only gonna be 7 planets left after I destroy Uranus."""

"I compulsively open my refrigerator in hopes that the portal to the other world has opened up. It hasn't so I had some cheese."

"How do you know your girlfriend is getting too fat? Because she tried on your wife's pants and they fit."

"""Mommy, why did Santa decide to deliver presents on Jesus' birthday."" Shits about to get REALLY dishonest up in here."

"If con is the opposite of pro... It must mean congress is the opposite of progress."

"What type of cheese is made backwards? Edam"

"Why can you RAN in a campsite, but never RUN in a campsite? Because it's always past-tents."