67630

Joke of the Day

"How do you become a millionaire overnight? Start off a billionaire then make a bunch of bad investments."

"What type of store doesn't move? A stationary store."

"Apple watch, loudly: ""It is time for you to poop"" Me: ""A-as I was saying, our investors h-"" Watch, louder: ""It is your optimal poop time"""

"Guy walks up to his wife with a duck under his arm... ""Honey. This is the pig I've been fucking for the last ten years."" ""That's not a pig, it's a duck!"" ""I was talking to the duck."""

"My neutered cat has such a tiny girly voice Must be a catstratti"

"I quit my job at the helium factory today I won't stand to be spoke to in that tone of voice"

"Who is second in command in the kitchen at a Native American owned restaurant? The Sioux chef"

"Dirty Dancing is my favorite movie about a girl who cannot dance at all, but wins a dance competition because her partner has a great mullet"

"[please enter a password] ilovedogs [password must contain at least one capital] iloveparisdogs"

"Oh no! An Xbox One and PS4 just had a head on collision... CALL AN AMBULANCE! WiiU WiiU WiiU WiiU WiiU"