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Joke of the Day

"If I weren't such a genus I'd be more specific."

"As a kid my mom laughed at me because I was always worrying about being shot with a crossbow while on the toilet. Well who's laughing now?"

"Why does Santa carry a heavy sack? Because he come once in an year."

"My dick is so big I have to wear a back brace when I masturbate."

"What do you call a black Asian bird? Croatian."

"Q: What do you call two spiders who just got married? A: Newlywebs."

"A fondue party... But instead of bread, it's more cheese. And instead of people, it's even more cheese."

"What's the difference between onions and your mother-in-law? You don't cry when chopping your mother-in-law."

"I was arrested for washing my pants without taking the cash out of my pockets. They charged me for laundering money."

"What did one bridge say to another? ""Fuck you"" (They were arch enemies)"