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Joke of the Day

"What is a neckbeard's favorite color? M'genta"

"HADES: Unleash the hell hound! CERBERUS: *sipping tea* I told you to ask first if it's a good time for us. HADES: Is it a-- CERBERUS: No."

"Big explosion in a paint factory tonight, 10 people missing, presumed red."

"Elon Musk's new MasterCard Ad. Getting a person to Mars?: $100,000. Getting them back?: Priceless."

"Why does it take southerners so long to do their chores? Because slavery is illegal."

"How many 'sah dudes does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it's already lit."

"What did they say about Baghdad after they installed too many garbage cans? It was Bin Laden"

"""Waking up when you got a baby, you feel like you drank a bottle of whiskey the night before, except the shit's in someone else's pants."""

"So weird that before we invented cars, if you hated someone you keyed their horse."

"What is Paula Deen's favorite insect? The Butterfly"