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Joke of the Day

"Roses Are Red, I call it bold and brash Even though I think its art It belongs in the trash"

"What do you call a nun that is lost? A Roamin' Catholic"

"I'm in charge of eight kids tonight. No big deal though I can be really responsib-- I'm in charge of seven kids tonight. No big deal though"

"Sit in Starbucks and scream into your phone, ""What we need is fresh screenwriting talent! An unknown! Where on earth can we find it?"""

"Do they have a shitty attitude because they work for minimum wage, or work for minimum wage because they have a shitty attitude?"

"What do an Iraqi baby, an American president, and a homesick Brit visiting Jerusalem all want? They all want either pees, peace or peas in the middle east."

"I was given a book, ""How to play the didgeridoo."" All the pages are empty besides one that says, ""Far away from me."""

"I heard the Spanish were trying to make a drug out of kinetic energy... Be careful though, because you could get an Mv^2 overdose."

"What STD did Forrest Gump catch? NSFW Jennytal Warts"

"[wife replies to text that I found a genie] dont do a thing im almost home [she pulls up and the car from the cars movie is in the driveway]"