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Joke of the Day

"Stressed Out A guy walked up to me and said 'I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam!' and I said 'Relax man, you're two tents!"

"Surprise parties for Lindsey Lohan probably have that ""Intervention-y"" feeling at first."

"how do you know if an asian man robbed your house your homeworks done, your computers upgraded, and 3 hours later hes still trying to back out the driveway."

"Charlie Sheen hates..... Parisians even more than the IS does."

"Shout ""out"" to... ...baseball players who have three strikes."

"What's the difference between a baby and a washing machine? The washing machine doesn't cry when you drop a load in it."

"(Ad for a baby) gently used can't even kill you doesn't shed poops on a learning curve goes from 0-60 in roughly 60 years"

"No self-respecting murderer is going to have the patience to stand there for the twenty or thirty hours it'll take me to dig my own grave."

"Tornadoes and marriage are alike, because they both begin with a lot of sucking and blowing, and in the end you lose your house."

"At first I thought maybe HBO had another vampire show. Then I realized that's just what Steve Buscemi really looks like."