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Joke of the Day
"It's so cute how fish just can't contain their excitement when you cuddle them."
Next Joke
"What do you call a blond woman who dyes her hair brown? Her name, you asshole."
"I once fell in love with an English Teacher.... ...I wrote her a love letter and she corrected it."
"I almost cut my finger off cutting some celery to eat and all I could think is this never happens with cupcakes."
"I asked my Dad for help with course selection... My last block was either Psychology or Computer Applications. So I asked, ""Which do you think I should take?"" ""Whichever you'll excel in, son."""
"Last night a kid came ""trick or treating"" at my place dressed as Gloria Gaynor. At first I was afraid."
"I remember the first time I used a Universal Remote Control I thought to myself: ""Well, this changes everything."""
"Has anyone even thought to look in San Diego for Carmen Sandiego? Think about it, it's a little *too* obvious. Which means it's perfect."
"At Fantastic Beasts & some nerds are in Hogwarts robes so I don't know why they're giving me the stink eye for my Wonder Woman outfit"
"Where did Susie go when her town got bombed? Everywhere."