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Joke of the Day

"They said Brexit would let us get closer to non-EU countries. They were right, we now have more in common with Zimbabwe than ever before."

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down."

"I tell all the girls I chat to that I last ages in bed. It sounds better than telling them I'm on the dole, and don't get up until lunchtime."

"Reddit is really a green community Consisting all the recycled content on here."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my dad. Not screaming in terror, like his passengers."

"Just went into a women's restroom and lifted all the toilet seats."

"Hey Joseph, Why you Stalin?"

"Watch out for the black ice outside of the bank. It'll rob you of your balance."

"The inventor of the Heimlich maneuver has died at the age of 96. Ironically enough, everyone at his funeral was choking back tears."

"Astronauts are cowards, why don't you stay down here and face earth's problems like a man"