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Joke of the Day

"Take a day off. Pamper yourself. Visit a spa. Pour melted wax on ur body. Rip the hair out by the roots. Inject poison into ur face. Relax."

"Steve Irwin lived as he died With animals firmly in his heart"

"why thank you, sir! I was totally unaware of my big titties. How kind of you to risk your safety by yelling it out of the car window."

"How do weathermen get up a mountain? They climate"

"What's the difference between coriander and cumin? You can't coriander your pants."

"What did the Chinese man say when Winter came around? Reddit snow, reddit snow, reddit snow!"

"You can learn a lot about your kids by simply turning off the TV and talking. For example I discovered that mine are really boring."

"What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt."

"So Five Night's at Freddy's 3 was announced Is it going to have a dead horse animatronic that you have to beat?"

"I heard Reese's is doing a monkey shaped chocolate bar now.. It's called a Reese's Macaque."