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Joke of the Day

"The Lion King really created trust issues between me and the nephew."

"Did you hear about the article in Psychology Today about disproving the existence of Observation Bias? The head researcher was quoted as saying ""it turned out to be just as we expected""."

"Why can't Mrs.Clause get pregnant? Santa only comes once a year, and it's always down a chimney."

"Whale dad joke 'Dad, where did I come from?' 'From my penis' 'Oh...thanks.' 'You're whalecum.'"

"Twice the cold doth striketh A dog, a ski cabin, and a leather jacket walk into the electric cloud being and merge into the one true demongod."

"""When I call your name say 'omnipresent.'"" - teacher to class full of Gods"

"Wife to her husband:""Why do you stand in the balcony every time I sing classical?"" The husband replies ""So that the neighbors don't think I'm fucking you forcibly"""

"If the world is getting smaller why do postal rates keep going up?"

"The Buddhist idea of Nirvana literally translates to ""Blown Out"" Typically in reference to something like a candle, but occasionally to Kurt Cobain's brains."

"Dr Horrible got a great deal on getting into the Evil League of Evil It only cost him a Penny"