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Joke of the Day

"A dick has a sad life His hair is a mess His family is nuts His neighbour is an asshole And, his owner beats him."

"Why did the football coach go to Aldi? To get his quarter back!"

"What's the difference between a pedophile and a cinephile? I won't tell you which one I am, but I like to bring my own candy and just watch."

"Waiter: I'm sorry to keep you waiting. Your soup will be ready soon. Customer: What bait are you using?"

"Did you know that camels aren't indigenous to Australia? They were shipped there by the British. Oddly enough, so were the Australians."

"Jus made the jerk off motion at a baby because his mom is using coupons."

"What's the difference between pizza and your opinion? I asked for pizza."

"I made you brownies Me - I made you apology brownies. Her - Oh... I don't like chocolate. Me - I know, I'm not that sorry."

"What's the only disease a potato can get? tuber-culosis"

"People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V ""Tuesday"""