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Joke of the Day

"My 22-year-old cousin: My biggest fear in life is that I won't make a difference, that I'll be insignificant. Me: It's really not that bad"

"How do you spot two bffs in prison They finish each other's sentences"

"Where do poor people live in Italy? In the spaghetto"

"I have 7,777 followers. Shouldn't coins be coming out of my computer or something? #gyp"

"How could the Statitician stand in a fire and be okay? He had a block of ice on his head."

"Why don't black people dream? Because the last guy who had a dream got shot"

"Why don't women wear skirts in San Fransisco? Because their balls would show."

"I want to meet the actors who get turned down to act in infomercials. Then I would ask them how their brother Alec Baldwin is doing."

"don't regret doing things, regret getting caught"

"Tired of being single? Just lower your standards a bit. My new girlfriend is a coconut taped to a mop."