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Joke of the Day

"Oh is it really raining outside? Please post a status update for all of us with no windows."

"What do Islamic McDonalds employees wear? A cheeseburka"

"Daughter: Here you go! Me: You're my favorite. Son: Yesterday, you said I was your favorite! Me: Yesterday, you were closest to the remote."

"I fart like an Egyptian pharoah... We have a toot in common."

"Why do New Zealand farmers now wear kilts? Because the sheep have gotten used to the sound of zippers"

"I used to get my dad so angry as a kid. I knew that once he took that belt off there was nothing i could do... to keep him from shooting heroin"

"are u in love with me? no?? *slides u a chocolate pudding* how about now?"

"My friend and I signed up to win a lifetime supply of skin lotion. He won and I didn't The worst part is that he keeps rubbing it in."

"American Beer is liking having sex in a canoe... It's fucking close to water. Heard this from a Dutch friend of mine and thought I would share."

"My husband hasn't forgiven me for answering 'Okie dokie artichokie' instead of utilizing the more socially acceptable phrase, ""I do."""