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Joke of the Day

"Did y'all hear the one about the professional jump-roper? Never mind. *Skip it*."

"Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they!"

"NASA: what makes u qualified for our mission to mars? ME: i desperately want to be shot into deep space, where there are definitely no geese"

"""I have a split personality."" ...said Tom, being frank."

"To the fat people who get offended when someone makes a fat joke, I have two words for you: Lighten up."

"Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift's relationship is over after just three months because he wanted it to be more public... I guess she wanted it to be more Loki."

"How Does An American Commit Suicide? They jump off their high horse. ^^^ThisIsJustJoke"

"When I push a door that clearly says pull, it serves as a harsh reminder that I'd make a terrible midwife."

"I go to the gym religiously. You know, once or twice a year around the holidays."

"Q: How does a man keep his youth? A: By giving her money furs and diamonds."