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Joke of the Day

"Real Estate Agent: Do you want to look at the model homes? Me: I'm flattered you think I'm a model but I'll just look at the regular homes"

"Did you hear about the guy who infected himself with the Zika virus? He wanted a little head."

"Your an idiot. -You're. What? -You're not your. But I said it. I didn't type it. We're talking. -Yeah but I heard the typo. You're an idiot."

"You show me a migraine and I'll show you a real pain in the neck"

"How do you say goodbye to German cheese? Velveetazane"

"A clown tries to get insurance for his company, but the agent says Agent: Sorry, we don't do any funny business here."

"Sexting gone wrong I accidentally sent a picture of my dick to everyone in my address book today. Not only was it really embarrassing, it cost me a fortune in stamps."

"I bought some rose-scented shampoo the other day.. ..it smells better than real poo."

"What do you call a book club that hasn't changed their book in a thousand years? Church"

"Q: What do you call it when a cat bites? - A: Catnip!"