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Joke of the Day

"Sexting gone wrong I accidentally sent a picture of my dick to everyone in my address book today. Not only was it really embarrassing, it cost me a fortune in stamps."

"Have you heard the new drink called Sandy? ...It's a watered down Manhattan!"

"Mothers with teenagers know why animals eat their young."

"What do you do when a woman serves you bad sushi? Sue she"

"Anyone who claims on the internet that the President is a Communist, should be forced to spend a year in 1934 Siberia."

"Whenever you're feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there's people that pay money to exercise."

" All in all, it's just a... nother post on my wall. "

"You'd be surprised at all the discounts you get when you come in swinging a sword!"

"What did the sick fish say when he got sick? ""I've cod a cold."""

"In the divorce court today an 85-year old farmer divorced his 17-year old wife, claiming he could not keep his hands off her. He has since fired all of his hands and bought a combine harvester."