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Joke of the Day

"What did one wall say to the other wall? Let's meet up in the corner."

"Professor, please tell us about discrete physical values in quantum mechanics. Sure, one moment."

"Damn girl, are you a jar of pickles? Because I think I NEED to bang you on my kitchen counter."

"My girlfriend left me a roll of quarters for laundry today She told me to try to not blow it all on one load..."

"Why did the prostitute cross the road? To go to the motel with her client so they could have some fucking privacy."

"Every now and then, getting lost means finding your way."

"My gf just sent me an SMS: ""Spacekeydoesn'tworkcanyougivemeanalternative"" I am really excited but what the f**k does ternative mean?"

"Pope Francis will bring a rabbi and a Muslim leader with him when he travels to the Holy Land this week. Or as bartenders put it, ""We've been expecting you."""

"All refugees are terrorists. (that's the punchline) (No that's actually the punchline)"

"Anti-virus pioneer John McAfee is wanted by the Police for murder charges. If they catch him I guess the trial will last 30 days."