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Joke of the Day

"What exactly is the difference between a New York City Park bathroom and a Law & Order crime scene?"

"Why was the penguin banned from the Winter Olympics? He was caught taking Polaroids."

"I got a job as a bounty hunter in China. Couldn't believe my luck, every time they put a new wanted poster up, the guy they were after was standing right next to me!"

"A woman lost her wedding ring in Paris last night. I'm not talking about the one who deserved it."

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I quote Linkin Park too much But in the end it doesn't even matter"

"Why did the computer programmer get stuck in the shower forever? Because the instructions on the shampoo bottle said to ""1. Lather 2. Rinse 3. Repeat"""

"What do you call a guy with no legs at your front door? Matt"

"What happens when you cross a snowman and a vampire? You get a frostbite."

"Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me: ""Sir I have two openings for you...!"" I replied : Yes. I know .There was a long silence and then she hung up."

"My kids are mad at me because I never unwrap the cheese slices in their sandwiches"