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Joke of the Day
"So many pants. So little yoga."
Next Joke
"Me: I'm gonna lose weight. Me: I'm gonna exercise every day. Me: I'm gonna go on a diet and stick to it. Me: Is that cake?"
"What's the difference between 9/11 and Tianjin? I'm only 75% sure Jews did Tianjin"
"Walking down the street I was walking home form work and I saw a bee crawling on the grass. I was thinking of stepping on it, then I decided 'ehh I'll let it be'"
"If a woman asks if you ""notice anything new"" tell her ""I do, your beauty surprises me every day."" Then continue thinking about velociraptors"
"""My wife is such a racist... she won't let me date black girls."" -Andy Breckman"
"I went for a depression test. Came back negative."
"A catholic priest, a pedophile and a rapist walk into a bar He orders a beer"
"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt."
"What is the speed limit for sex? 68 . Because at 69 you flip over and eat it."