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Joke of the Day

"If you die from one of the diseases you can get on The Oregon Trail, I'm gonna laugh at you. Sorry."

"According to my laptop, my New Year's resolution is 1680 x 1050."

"I used to be passive aggressive but now I'm aggressively passive. Don't mess with me, idiot. I'll sit right here. I'll f*cking forgive you."

"How do you get down from an elephant? You dont. You get down from a duck."

"If you put dry teabags in shoes they absorb the odor. So your shoes smell good but the tea tastes so bad it's almost not worth it"

"What do music producers eat for breakfast? Fruity Loops"

"the true test of a child is not how he treats his friends, but how he treats Minecraft villagers"

"Anyone ever see Stevie Wonders wife? Neither has he."

"WHATS UP!! WHATS UP!!! All the bulimic bitches in the house say ""BLAAARRGGGH!!!"""

"How many divorced men does it take to change a light bulb? No one knows. They never get to keep the house. Edit: Thanks for all the awesome comments. I can't keep up!"