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Joke of the Day

"What does a neckbeard tip his fedora to in soviet russia? ""M'otherland"""

"Give me five hundred good reasons you think I'm too demanding."

"Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for ""hardcore poem""?"

"Twitter is working worse than a dollar store pregnancy test."

"Really wanted the day off, so I text my boss Me: I can't come in today. I'm sick Boss: How sick are you? Me: Well I'm currently in bed with my sister......"

"What do you call a dinosaur who joins the band The Clash? A StayGosaurus"

"Fat chicks don't get wet..... They get greasy"

"As I get older I realize my penis is like Jesus. It takes 3 days to reserect after a good beating."

"Bet you I can guess how much she weighs. She's about one... FAT BITCH!"

"Who would win a knife fight between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton? Everyone!"