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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a lycanthrope you've snuck up on? An unaware wolf."
Next Joke
"My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex... I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came."
"So Mary and Joseph finally consummate the marriage Joe checks the sheets, turns to Mary and says, ""You really expect me to believe God broke your hymen?"""
"How do you call a 100 m race between siamese twins? Head to head race"
"[me trying to do magic] Is this your card? ""No"" Is THIS your card? ""Not even close"" What about THIS? ""Trent thats literally a piece of ham"""
"I told my boss that I wanted a raise. The boss, like a jackass, replied, ""How much of a raise do you need to get the job done?"" ""About five gallons of gasoline,"" I replied."
"I have a question of the most importance!? If I find a job in the classifieds...does that mean I can't tell anyone!?"
"Statically, 1 in every 10 people live next to a pedophile. Not me though, I live next to a little boy with a fat ass"
"When is it okay to spit an arab woman in the face? When her moustache is on fire!"
"*stomps feet during a tantrum, reaches fitbit step goal*"