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Joke of the Day

"Pizza at gay marriages will inevitably become a trend. It will be largely symbolic (and artisanal)."

"I think marriage should be between a robot and a spider horse because I'm a retarded man child and this is what I bring to the conversation."

"Why was the chicken afraid to cross the road? Because it's a chicken."

"I have a really annoying joke but first you will need to take a deep breath and blink hard... Ha, now you are conscious of your breathing and blinking."

"Bob Dylan's singing sounds like me insisting I'm okay to drive."

"Hey mind if I try some of your chloroform? Sure knock yourself out."

"How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb? How the hell did they get inside a light bulb?"

"It ruins the joke and confuses everyone. What happens when you mix up where to put the set-up and the punchline of a joke?"

"Guys, don't worry, the glass ceiling already broke 78 years ago! It was called Kristallnacht."

"He paid me $150 for the ""girlfriend experience,"" so I went through his phone then locked myself in the bathroom, sobbing inconsolably."