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Joke of the Day

"Father walks in son's room and catches him masturbating........ Father says, ""Son if you don't stop that you'll go blind."" Son responds, ""Dad, I am over here."""

"Fellas, if she asks you to sign life insurance policies on the way to your honeymoon, you're probably not making it out alive."

"Adult me must concede that a major contributor to global warming was kid me leaving the front door open and heating the whole goddam world."

"My girlfriend just texted me, her dragon name was ""Vaerjuam"". I was like "" Hey Vaerjuam. I'm dad."""

"A ham sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Sorry. We don't serve food."""

"Attention friends who don't understand humor,,, please do not attempt to reply to the posts of us who have humorous whit,,,, it's beyond your skill level."

"The early bird gets the worm but the early worm gets eaten, so... I choose sleep."

"twitter has a very ""high school class where the teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes"" vibe"

"Man bumps into my shoulder ""You're lucky this isn't the Internet pal"""

"What happens when you put 6 city workers and 6 lesbians in a room together? You get a dozen people who don't do dick"