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Joke of the Day
"Twitter is just LinkedIn for the chronically unemployed."
Next Joke
"Everybody needs a bosom for a pillow Mines made of mammary foam"
"There is an existential horror upon seeing your password in handwriting."
"What song do isis members play during executions Burn baby burn"
"What did the police officer want from the criminal store? Just ice."
"""Why don't you trust me?"", she texted both the guys simultaneously."
"Last time I used my phone was to call someone upstairs in my house b/c getting up is hard & I'm not trying to win the Olympics."
"How many Hillary Clinton supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They prefer to be left in the dark."
"my dad always makes fun of me for taking selfies all the time but if he didn't want such a beautiful child he should've kept it in his pants"
"the scariest thing about teenage girls is all they have to do is laugh near you and they instantly make you feel like total shit"