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Joke of the Day

"There is an existential horror upon seeing your password in handwriting."

"Whenever I see a sign saying Fine Jewelry I think to myself, it's probably had enough warnings, why not just arrest it."

"What do you call 7 Irish guys singing ""White Christmas?"" Racist."

"I tried to share a subway sandwich with a homeless man on the bus. He kept telling me to fuck off and get my own."

"I had to bury my girlfriends cat today... He put up a hell of a fight, but I got him covered up!"

"What do you call two hobos hitting each other with cardboard? Pillow fight"

"What does Batman's mum shout when it's time for dinner? Nothing. She's dead."

"I'm not saying my ex wasn't pretty, but every time my wallet got stolen the thief would return her picture."

"Apparently people are using smart phones instead of credit cards now. I tried this but my cocaine was very lumpy."

"How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just you"