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Joke of the Day

"Use chemicals to remove polish nobody bats an eye Use chemicals to remove Polish and you are literally Hitler."

"If God wanted us to go METRIC Jesus would've had 10 disciples not 12."

"We've been over this. I DO NOT WANT A PDF OF YOUR MENU."

"What did Buddy Fletcher, accused ponzi scheme runner and husband of reddit's CEO, say to the duck? [deleted]"

"What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises."

"Legal tip for men: if you get a free t shirt at a bar, you're not required to keep it forever, like they can't arrest you if u throw it out."

"How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Obviously more than 8, because my basement is still dark."

"Me: I hate all of the trash jokes in this sub. Friend: They're not trash, they're *recycle*."

"What did the county Sheriff say about the black man who was shot 15 times? ""Worst case of suicide I've ever seen"""

"What did the pirate say when he had a steering wheel down his pantaloons? Arr! It's driving me nuts!"