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Joke of the Day

"An annoying part of life in the 80s was when you're already late and, once again, you gotta shoo away some sexy lady lying all over your car"

"If you hold the iPad up to your ear you can hear the ocean but only for a little while and only if you're standing right next to the ocean."

"The difference between being naughty and being kinky Is whether you by your gear at an adult shop or home depot"

"What is Reddit's favorite airliner? Virgin airlines."

"What's the difference.... Between eating pussy and driving in the fog? When you're driving in the fog you can't see the asshole in front of you"

"Donald Duck is far too angry for somebody who never has to suffer pants."

"How do you turn a fox into a cow? You marry her."

"Forgiveness is for people who don't know about arson."

"Financial Tip: When laundering money, always separate the bills from the coins and use the delicate cycle with a gentle detergent."

"I went to a military history exhibit at a museum in Little Italy. I saw a cool old German submarine. I walked up to a guy and said, ""Hey, is that a U-boat?"" He said, ""No, it's-a the museum's!"""