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Joke of the Day

"How do you save a Republican from drowning? Take your foot off of their head."

Next Joke
 
"I like my woman the way I like my coffee. Hot, black, and all over my lap while I'm driving."
"*hires 2 personal trainers and makes one of them train the other one*"
"Just heard on the news about the 1993 luggage murder. Apparently the police are reopening the case"
"How do you make a dog meow? Freeze it and run it through a bandsaw... MEEEOOOW!"
"So we're just gonna walk around pretending it's not weird that one of our hands is just worse at everything?"
"Organs are like onions If you cut them in half you will probably cry"
"are you the girl who has to type everything said in court? ""yes"" I'm sorry *looks back at prosecutor and answers his question as a dolphin*"
"What does Hitler hate about leg day ? Mein Krampf"
"Diary June 28 1954 So it turns out my weakness is kryptonite. I can't tell anybody this. June 30 1954 I accidentally told Lex. Should be ok"