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Joke of the Day

"*hires 2 personal trainers and makes one of them train the other one*"

"I don't like skinny fashion models cause I find their lack of weight disturbing."

"Escalators don't break down... they just turn into stairs."

"What's worse than fighting an uphill battle? Getting to the top and realizing it's all downhill from there."

"A spider jumped on my wife which made her stumble backwards and fall over her bag. Oh how I laughed! Tweet posted from the guest bedroom."

"Did you hear about the farmer who fed crayons to his chickens? He wanted them to lay coloured eggs!"

"The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, ""Move to the passenger seat""."

"You know you do too much online shopping when your kids start drawing pictures for the UPS man."

"It doesn't matter that I'm bad at spelling, I'm the best physicist just give me a sodastream and watch."

"Making French toast is a lot like making regular toast. The only difference is that you use your tongue."