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Joke of the Day

"Did you know, the cave where Jesus was resurrected... contained a large quantity of hydrating body lotion? He was moist-jew-rising."

"A lot of people cry when they chop onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond."

"How many children do I want to have? Kind of a weird question for a first date, but umm I guess enough to finish the temple"

"*boss trying to relate to younger employees* ""Excited for the weekend? I know I'll be *looks down at Wikipedia print-out* Yoloing for sure!"""

"Mama said there'd be days like this, and also ""knock you out"" ??? I don't know, you talk to her. She sounds drunk."

"Yo mama So fat I can stand on her belly and high five Jesus -Merry Xmas"

"Why is the Champs-Elysees lined with trees? So the Germans can march in the shade."

"What do you call it when a neurologist is found embezzling and he later runs away? A Fraudian slip."

"If Jason Bateman was a Jedi... I would call him Master Bateman."

"How many feminists does it take to change a light-bulb? THAT'S NOT FUNNY!"