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Joke of the Day

"When someone tells me, ""I think of you as family,"" I assume I'm about to be yelled at for something that happened 10 years ago."

"mom: who's your background? me: my boyfriend mom: can i meet him? me: not before i do mom: what? me: what?"

"You make cool foam designs on top of your coffee? Well latte-da."

"You're in love and I couldn't be happier for you. But can you let go of each other's hands for four seconds so I can get past you on the f*ckin sidewalk?"""

"*Sees old 1987 ford mustang and gets in* Lets see if this baby still works *pulls baby out of backpack* *baby cries* Great! *Puts it back*"

"I don't have a racist bone in my body. But my cartilage does not care for Mexicans."

"""I invented the cubicle."" - Someone hopefully in Hell"

"Why are TV's attracted to people? Because we turn them on. /*Badumtss*/"

"You're not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU'RE RICH"

"moms outraged over new ninja turtels movie. ""theres too much violence"" says one mom. says another ""they r named after guys who sculpt butts"""