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Joke of the Day
"What did the porn actress say when she opened the door? Make sure to come upstairs."
Next Joke
"What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? Quatro cinqo. EDIT: Yeah, I take French, not Spanish. :)"
"I'm a lawyer for an Orthodontist He's got me on retainer."
"Dad: ok we need to find the number to that store, get the phone book Me: Get the what now?"
"Just said, ""Sorry, I have to go,"" out loud to my computer."
"My dog reacts to the vacuum cleaner the same way I react when my wife says ""We need to talk""."
"They don't seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts. Sad."
"When a relative asks me what I'm doing with my life, I tell more lies than a guy at a computer whose wife just asked him what he's doing."
"Banana Shirt http://teespring.com/Banana-Shirt#pid=369&cid=6519&sid=front"
"""I'll just stagger around yelling random, incoherent shit as people try to keep me from hurting myself."" Drunks and 1 year olds."