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Joke of the Day

"Banana Shirt http://teespring.com/Banana-Shirt#pid=369&cid=6519&sid=front"

"I put a wooden desk and a blackboard in my bedroom. You know, to make it more classy."

"What did the child with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer."

"What does it taste like when you go down... What does it taste like when you go down on an old lady? Depends..."

"What do you call Islamic death metal? Allahu Rockbar."

"I keep forgetting the ""o"" part of ""Hello."" My boss is NOT happy with the way I've been answering his phone."

"I always party like it's 1999. Standing in a corner talking to nerds about The Matrix."

"Obama: ""Anybody else wanna see my birth certificate?"" Drops mic, walks away."

"They say 9 or 10 is a good age to tell your kid they were adopted, but only IF they were adopted."

"I don't have a girlfriend.. I just know someone that would be really mad if they ever heard me say that"