65990

Joke of the Day

"Every morning when I wake up I wonder to myself, ""Is today going to be the day that Lou Bega drops Mambo No. 6?"""

"When a bird poops on you, it's also peeing on you, because they do both at the same time. So remember: you're a TOTAL bird toilet."

"The first rule of tautology club ... is the first rule of tautology club"

"What do you do after raping a deaf girl? Break her fingers so she cant tell anyone."

"A recent survey in the UK asked the following question: Are there too many foreigners in this country now? 18% answered: **YES** 82% answered ** **"

"I went to a library... and asked the librarian if they had a book on Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat. She said, ""Well it rings a bell but I'm not sure if it's there or not."""

"The sign said 'Free Range Chickens'. So, I took some."

"At what age did Hitler's uncle try to molest him at? When he was nein."

"SCIENTIST: it's our thinnest toilet paper yet, sir. less than a picometer CEO: *rips it by breathing on it* put it in every public restroom"

"How do you get a date on Tinder? Seriously guys, I've been trying for months so if anyone have any useful tips it would be much appreciated."