198318

Joke of the Day

"A recent survey in the UK asked the following question: Are there too many foreigners in this country now? 18% answered: **YES** 82% answered ** **"

"[buys ghostbusters ringtone] ME: who ya gonna call? [1 hour later] ME: who ya gonna call?! [2 days later] ME: *sobbing* I am so lonely"

"There's way too much blood in my alcohol system today"

"Scientists recently developed a weapon that directly targets the Higgs Boson It's classified as a weapon of mass destruction."

"What is a British woman on her period? A bloody cunt."

"What's the worst thing about being a professional alligator wrestler? You have to start off by being an amateur alligator wrestler."

"Why do mules not work as hard as horses? Because they're half-assed!"

"How many grains of sand are there in the world? As many as 27. I'm referring to the number of times good ol' 27 was reposted."

"Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he saw the gas bill."

"You would think that if you pulled a snail's shell off, then it would be able to move faster. I tried it, but they seem to be more sluggish."