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Joke of the Day

"A man was in a supermarket.... and he saw a man. He went up to him and said ""I know you from somewhere, are you famous?"" The man replies ""no no no... I'm famYOU""."

"This is the only comment you should be leaving on porn sites: ""Why are you doing this? Please come home. Your mother and I are heartbroken."""

"If I had a dollar for every woman that thought I was ugly... Eventually they wouldn't think I was ugly."

"Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't."

"How embarrassing! I tripped and fell out of my clothes."

"Want to know where to find the worst pun in Alberta? Call gary"

"The farther away the future is, the better it looks."

"Best friends: Ready to die for each other, but will fight to the death over the last slice of pizza."

"Please listen closely... Attention: Tonight I will attempt to travel back in time and change history. You'll know I've succeeded if Germany loses WWII and Wednesday comes *after* Tuesday."

"Everybody is complaining about their significant other, and I'm over here trying to keep mine charged above 10%."