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Joke of the Day

"A man was in a supermarket.... and he saw a man. He went up to him and said ""I know you from somewhere, are you famous?"" The man replies ""no no no... I'm famYOU""."

"A pelican just flew away with my sandwich. Rigged! The media!"

"Hey gurl are you an integral? Because I'd gladly replace my x with u."

"If my wife googles images of breastfeeding its perfectly okay. But when I do it, and substitute 'big and wet' for 'feeding', she gets angry."

"Hired a Mexican gondolier... ...his name was Pedro."

"What's the difference between two dicks and a joke? You can't take a joke."

"Why did semen cross the road? Put on the wrong sock....."

"That's a nice ham you got there... It'd be a shame if you put an 's' in front and an 'e' at the end of it."

"Waiting to see who sits next to you on a plane feels like the opposite of winning the lottery."

"Y'know I hear the N-word a hundred times a day... I need to stop yelling it at black people."