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Joke of the Day
"What does a beer say when it's cold? Buuuurrrrrr!!!"
Next Joke
"I don't have Great Expectations for my son. But I got him the other 13 Dicken's Books."
"Frankly auto correct, I'm getting really tired of your shirt."
"So the Asian guy from the Human Centipede has a Twitter account... He's not very popular though. He only has two people following him."
"""...and then she farted and I swear her butt plug shot across the room like a rocket! That's the last time we have Taco Bell."""
"""God is dead"" - Nietzsche ""Nietzsche is dead"" - God ""I'd like to add you to my professional network"" - LinkedIn"
"Remember how much you used to like this song?- Car ads."
"Wind turbines. I'm a big fan."
"Obama's announcement Today, President Obama announced that, after January 20th, the official title of ""U.S. Government"" will be changed to include quotation marks around Government."
"Knock! Knock! Who's there? ""Broken Pencil."" ""Broken Pencil Who?"" ""Never mind, it's pointless."""