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Joke of the Day

"Pregnant coworker with 3 children who always complains about money: When are YOU going to start having kids? Me: When are you going to stop?"

"What do you call an attractive bee who goes to bars? A bar-bee!"

"A rabbi, a priest, and an imam walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, ""What is this? A joke?"""

"If I learned anything from Forest Gump it's that people who love to run are retarded."

"Satan: you can spend eternity in hell OR you can go to work for the first time in 5 days. Me: hmmm Satan: well? Me: IM THINKING, DAMN IT"

"China already tried Trump's giant wall idea, and we saw how that worked out... not too many fuckin' Mexicans in China, are there?"

"Smoke a joint before hitting a buffet to really get your money's worth... Just saying."

"Why do women sound like they're having an orgasm when they play tennis? And why does my mother play Tennis in her bedroom?"

"What do you call a pizza chef on an airplane? A flying saucer."

"44 of my Facebook friends changed their profile pictures. My life is fucking insane."