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Joke of the Day

"Freddie Mercury: ""Hey Brian, what rhymes with scaramouche?"" Brian May: um... Fandango? Freddie: ""Perfect!"" *snorts another line of coke*"

"What's the funniest thing /r/funny has done? Gone private."

"What do you call hiding in a Michael Bay movie? Kabamouflage"

"Have you ever loved someone so much, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently it's called kidnapping"

"I've got no home, I haven't got control, and I can't see any escape. I should get a new keyboard."

"If a gay man gets into a debilitating car accident... is he a fruit or a vegetable?"

"Great desert tip: Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl with fresh squeezed lime juice. Toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake."

"Before you judge a woman, walk a mile in her shoes. After that who cares? She's a mile away and you've got her shoes."

"I used to have a job circumcising elephants.. It was shit work but the tips were massive."

"What is Hitler's favorite chocolate? Fuhrerro Rocher"