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Joke of the Day

"Before you judge a woman, walk a mile in her shoes. After that who cares? She's a mile away and you've got her shoes."

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"My gf said ""tie me up and do what you want"" so I duct taped her to the headboard and went to the bar"
"Man at garage: ""Are you claiming this off your own insurance?"" Me: ""Yes. I don't think the deer I hit had any insurance."""
"What did one guy at a gay bar say to the other guy? Can I push your stool in? I just wanted to note that my ten year old brother told me this joke.ಠ\_ಠ"
"Why did the walrus go to the Tupperware party? To find a tight seal"
"How will you know your sister has period? When you taste blood in your father's dick"
"What do you call a friendly helicopter? A hello-copter"
"How do Germans tie there shoes? With little Nazis."
"Words to live by What doesn't kill you, isn't in Australia"
"I like my woman like I like my coffee... Smuggled in a sack from Colombia"