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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes."

"Why are you baking octopus? So I can get octopi."

"How to blind parachutist know they're close to the ground? The feel the leash go slack! (heard this one while listening to some irish tunes)"

"I think my virginity has grown back."

"I had a dream I was in a part of the US that was filled with nothing but museums. It was State of the Art."

"He was next in line at Starbucks. Then she cut in front of him. Liam Neeson in TAKEN 3: SKINNY VANILLA MAYHEM."

"Have you heard of the book about airplane factories? It's riveting."

"A hobo and a goat are hiking up a small mountain. Who is the hill-billy?"

"""Did you know Yemen is the most mentioned country in everyday speech?"" Person 2: ""Really?"" Me: ""Yeah, man."""

"What do burgers think when they are surrounded by gherkins? They think they are in a pickle."