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Joke of the Day

"Racism is deeply embedded in our culture My mom always told me to separate whites and colored before doing laundry"

"What have 70 teeths and 2 eyes? -An alligator. Now what have 2 teeths and 70 eyes? -A retirement home."

"Q. What do a hurricane a tornado and a redneck divorce all have in common? A. Someone's going to lose their trailer..."

"What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl? A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot!"

"Sperm is the best glue Have you ever seen a human being falling apart?"

"A magician was driving down a street... then suddenly he turned into a driveway."

"What does the aardvark call his dog? Aard-bark!"

"This Tweet has been a test of the Emergency Procrastination System."

"Don't forget to tell everyone how you love Fridays because we were all wondering how you feel about them."

"Someone asked me why I only date terminal cancer patients... They asked if I did it to show them love during their waning months, which is a nice thought. But I'm really just bad with commitment."