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Joke of the Day
"I like my coffee like I like my women. Without some other guy's dick in it."
Next Joke
"[new euphemism]: ""As worthless as the last sheet on a roll of paper towels"""
"How do you get Cream of Mushroom in Pokemon? Put 2 Amoonguss' in the daycare."
"What did they say about the guy who woke up and jerked off on his alarm clock every day? He always came on time."
"The trick that will stop you from crying every time you cut an onion- Stop getting so damned attached to onions."
"Sorry I commented ""yikes"" on that pic of your baby you posted on facebook."
"Every time you have McDonald's as a kid, it's a victory. Every time you have it as an adult, it's a defeat."
"They say love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it's probably shit"
"[2016, cincinnati zoo. boy falls into the enclosure] other gorilla: something brought a boy to the yard harambe [making a milkshake]: SHIT"
"You guys wanna hear a joke? Ellen Pao"