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Joke of the Day

"It's pretty stupid how cats will just play with the same toy over and over as if it might do something new. Hold on, gotta check my iPhone."

"When people say ""To be honest..."", it means that up to that point they've been lying."

"Two guys walk into a bar The third one ducks."

"I stuck my foot in a honeycomb. I bee tripping."

"Did you see the movie invisible? I couldn't"

"Wife and I are having an argument: At what point do we tell the highway it's adopted?"

"I think I was an unwanted child I'm 36 years old and my mother is still chasing me around with a coat hanger"

"Ironic! That even if Oscar pistorious is found not guilty .He still won't walk free"

"Doctor how can I cure my sleep walking? Sprinkle tin-tacks on your bedroom floor!"

"Gave my blind mate a cheese grater the other day... He said it was the most violent book he'd ever read."